Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Daytona 2009
Pick for the day? Tony Stewart gets his.
Dark horse: Elliott Sadler
If I could choose the winner? Jeff Burton, from South Boston VA.
Dark horse: Elliott Sadler
If I could choose the winner? Jeff Burton, from South Boston VA.
The Night Before Daytona
T’was the night before Daytona, and all in the condo;
Gents were passing out, save B, enjoying a hand-O.
The jean shorts were folded in duffels with care;
With the hopes a mulleted throng soon would appear.
K was nestled, all snug on a couch,
Dreaming of Natty Light, flowing down his mouth.
And G in a beater, and I with a snooze,
Barely awake, too much Tucher, o’ perfect booze.
Then at daybreak, the audible sputter,
A babbling brook? No, G’s busted muffler.
Up 95 N the Accord it did creep,
While I clutched a pillow, in an attempt to sleep.
The pace of our sojourn was nothing but slow;
Fingers crossed, at such speeds, the engine wouldn’t blow.
When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
A glorious oval and buckets of beer!
Many ounces later, in efforts so slick,
We begged and bartered, to procure a tick’.
Once in the speedway of world-renown fame,
Jorts, moustaches, and tattoos of fierce flame.
Now Stewart, now Harvick, now Burton and Gordon,
On Johnson, on Sadler, you Chevy and Ford ones.
To the starting line, and avoid the wall,
After ‘Start your engines’ and the green flag does fall.
Down corners at speeds at which one must fly,
But not the clutch of my Schlitz can you pry.
Around the track, the engines they flew,
As the overweight broad, on the bleachers did spew.
The boozing, the cheering, never a bore,
Gordon in 5th gear, foot to the floor.
Many drinks on the brain, the thinking not sound,
Machines in motion, track-whipping around.
The throng to their feet, to lean and bend,
Signaling the race was drawing to end.
The finish line, checkers unfurled from a sack,
But no, a wreck totaled the pack!
Extended race, the crowd was merry!
More laps to spin, bank, and parry.
As before, Gordon left the flow,
Winner, gold medal, best in show.
Apt taker of spoils, a winner crown wreath,
Brought few smiles among grins missing teeth.
An amazing event, we returned to the ride.
To speed, a reverse trip’ed 95.
On splinter’d bleachers, where porking was stealth,
We’d learned a lesson of enormous wealth.
Four winks of the eye, and bumps of the fist,
Realizing the grandeur we’d many times missed.
A sport for hicks, we’d often smirked,
Was pure enjoyment, their holy work.
Back at the condo, a reddened nose,
From howling winds, a body part froze.
In the hot tub we sank, among quieted rubes,
Eyes reddened, grins bared, from pulling tubes.
We heard them exclaim, eyes gaping with wonder;
“WHOOOEEEE!, You look just like Dale Jr.!”
Gents were passing out, save B, enjoying a hand-O.
The jean shorts were folded in duffels with care;
With the hopes a mulleted throng soon would appear.
K was nestled, all snug on a couch,
Dreaming of Natty Light, flowing down his mouth.
And G in a beater, and I with a snooze,
Barely awake, too much Tucher, o’ perfect booze.
Then at daybreak, the audible sputter,
A babbling brook? No, G’s busted muffler.
Up 95 N the Accord it did creep,
While I clutched a pillow, in an attempt to sleep.
The pace of our sojourn was nothing but slow;
Fingers crossed, at such speeds, the engine wouldn’t blow.
When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
A glorious oval and buckets of beer!
Many ounces later, in efforts so slick,
We begged and bartered, to procure a tick’.
Once in the speedway of world-renown fame,
Jorts, moustaches, and tattoos of fierce flame.
Now Stewart, now Harvick, now Burton and Gordon,
On Johnson, on Sadler, you Chevy and Ford ones.
To the starting line, and avoid the wall,
After ‘Start your engines’ and the green flag does fall.
Down corners at speeds at which one must fly,
But not the clutch of my Schlitz can you pry.
Around the track, the engines they flew,
As the overweight broad, on the bleachers did spew.
The boozing, the cheering, never a bore,
Gordon in 5th gear, foot to the floor.
Many drinks on the brain, the thinking not sound,
Machines in motion, track-whipping around.
The throng to their feet, to lean and bend,
Signaling the race was drawing to end.
The finish line, checkers unfurled from a sack,
But no, a wreck totaled the pack!
Extended race, the crowd was merry!
More laps to spin, bank, and parry.
As before, Gordon left the flow,
Winner, gold medal, best in show.
Apt taker of spoils, a winner crown wreath,
Brought few smiles among grins missing teeth.
An amazing event, we returned to the ride.
To speed, a reverse trip’ed 95.
On splinter’d bleachers, where porking was stealth,
We’d learned a lesson of enormous wealth.
Four winks of the eye, and bumps of the fist,
Realizing the grandeur we’d many times missed.
A sport for hicks, we’d often smirked,
Was pure enjoyment, their holy work.
Back at the condo, a reddened nose,
From howling winds, a body part froze.
In the hot tub we sank, among quieted rubes,
Eyes reddened, grins bared, from pulling tubes.
We heard them exclaim, eyes gaping with wonder;
“WHOOOEEEE!, You look just like Dale Jr.!”
Saturday, February 07, 2009
UVA Recruiting Nickels
- Overall, I am impressed by the UVA class. Morgan Moses, Oday Aboushi (and Kyle Long) on the OL is a tantalizing prospect.
- I like what Tim Smith brings to the table.
- I expect Dominique Wallace to end up being All-ACC...as a linebacker.
- Shocked we had no attrition beyond Tyree Watkins (and who cares about Duke...err, wait)
- Why do we sign our best classes after 5-7 seasons?
- Jameel Sewell will be on the UVA staff within 5 years.
- We need a QB in 2010, I'm not optimistic on Phil Sims, but I like selling the spread.
- Al Groh can develop talent, Dave Leitao should be his apprentice.
- Ole Miss signed 37 recruits?!?
- I like what Tim Smith brings to the table.
- I expect Dominique Wallace to end up being All-ACC...as a linebacker.
- Shocked we had no attrition beyond Tyree Watkins (and who cares about Duke...err, wait)
- Why do we sign our best classes after 5-7 seasons?
- Jameel Sewell will be on the UVA staff within 5 years.
- We need a QB in 2010, I'm not optimistic on Phil Sims, but I like selling the spread.
- Al Groh can develop talent, Dave Leitao should be his apprentice.
- Ole Miss signed 37 recruits?!?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
SE DC
In the past I've written about the uninspiring architecture in SE DC. It is unfortunate when buildings are nicknamed 'The Tetris Building', 'The Block Building', 'The 'I can't believe people are still paying 380 for a one-bedroom' Building'.
What the area needs is an iconic building, which takes advantage of light, shape, color, and texture, as a neighborhood landmark. Instead, every building further commoditizes its neighbors in its uniformity and blatant attempt to squeeze every penny out of the space. Each new building gorges on real estate, supersized and maxed out, where neighbors in adjacent buildings could pass a cup of sugar across the space (not a good thing).
I keep my fingers crossed for a building which exercises humility and constraint, and shrinks from the sidewalks to grow irregularly, abnormally, and strikingly, in a show of architectural ingenuity.
What the area needs is an iconic building, which takes advantage of light, shape, color, and texture, as a neighborhood landmark. Instead, every building further commoditizes its neighbors in its uniformity and blatant attempt to squeeze every penny out of the space. Each new building gorges on real estate, supersized and maxed out, where neighbors in adjacent buildings could pass a cup of sugar across the space (not a good thing).
I keep my fingers crossed for a building which exercises humility and constraint, and shrinks from the sidewalks to grow irregularly, abnormally, and strikingly, in a show of architectural ingenuity.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Quick Dice for Friday
- Underrated song of the moment - Easily, RHCP (Califonication). One Hot Minute is also a vastly underrated album. Also, Porch Song by WP.
- Need new adverbs to go with 'underrated', vastly/highly are probably used 98% of the time.
- Talking garbage about VJ after a poor performance at the Mercedes is an acceptable (and highly probable) consolation prize. I'd don't think a lobotomy could make me like his game.
- When a golfer is said to 'manufacture good swings' it means he hides his swing flaws well, or has a terrible swing. Might as well say he makes a bad cut.
- Soon to finish reading Buried Lies by Peter Jacobson, I hope the book was poorly edited, or else he's a thinly veiled Curtis Strange.
- Need new adverbs to go with 'underrated', vastly/highly are probably used 98% of the time.
- Talking garbage about VJ after a poor performance at the Mercedes is an acceptable (and highly probable) consolation prize. I'd don't think a lobotomy could make me like his game.
- When a golfer is said to 'manufacture good swings' it means he hides his swing flaws well, or has a terrible swing. Might as well say he makes a bad cut.
- Soon to finish reading Buried Lies by Peter Jacobson, I hope the book was poorly edited, or else he's a thinly veiled Curtis Strange.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Holidays and the Beach
During the holiday I had the opportunity to play a few rounds of golf in Myrtle Beach. I hold Myrtle, and its courses, in high regard, as I have been playing golf in the area for the better part of 20 years. With Golf Digest's Top 50 Myrtle Beach Courses in tow, I happily got in three rounds, in 80' weather, at the end of December.
Saturday - Ocean Ridge Plantation (Tiger's Eye) (3) - Tiger's Eye is part of the Ocean Ridge affiliation, now encompassing five courses. Tiger's Eye is a stern test of golf, with multiple risk/reward offerings on holes, and the ever impending threat of Carolina pines to snare a wayward parry. Ends on a difficult 5-par with water/waste right, and encroaching from behind the green. Greens were slow(ish) on account of thick/mature grass, allowed to grow to protect against the winter temperature shifts. Staff was courteous, laid-back, and friendly.
Sunday - Barefoot Resort (Love) (1) - Underwhelming, for a number of reasons. Much like an Atlantic City casino, I felt their entire intention was to take my money (ATM in clubhouse noted). The Barefoot ecosystem is quite interesting, and wholly caters to property owners, who gain memberships to all the courses. We played with Barefoot homeowners, who had their own (tricked-out) EZ Go, which was all too common, but, in my opinion, still unacceptable. Course situation catered to personal use of a golf cart, as the massive range, which serves all courses, is located .5 miles from the clubhouse, serving 3. At the clubhouse, there is no range or immediate putting green, simply a bottleneck from which tee times for all the courses are launched. Staff seemed more suited to be loading airplane luggage than performing golf-related tasks. Once our name was called, we were directed to the starter, and a small putting green with no actual holes, and given five minutes before the round.
The Love course was a combination of uninspiring holes, with a sprinkling of complete throwaway holes, especially the 3 pars (one of which was 145 from the tips). I equally blame DL III and whoever orchestrated the four course complex. When you build four courses, designed by four name designers, your end result is equal mediocrity, rather than catering to any of the competing interests. Space constrictions made many of the holes feel pinched, in some cases requiring a sparse ribbon of trees separating different courses. Additionally, the land on which the courses were built was flat/barren/sparse, so the only hazards entirely consist of water, which was the only option to be easily incorporated into the course design. The Love course lacks elevation change, and rarely required pre-shot contemplation, based on the potential for disaster. Many of the holes were straightforward, with simple green complexes and unimaginative bunkering. I couldn't imagine paying $90 to play the Love course, let alone the near $200 in-season rate.
Oh, and I didn't even mention the ubiquitous housing.
Monday - Myrtle Beach National (King's North) (20) - While the lowest ranked course on the list, easily my favorite, and the truest test of golf. Approaching the complex, the dated clubhouse (featuring a cafeteria line refreshment stand) was a minor deterrent to a championship course. We played the first five holes in a squalor, and loved every minute of it. Exacting shots required on risk/reward holes, interesting and imaginative green complexes require a variety of approach trajectories, and, lest I forget, 'The Gambler', the most welcomingly cheesy hole in golf. Course conditions were amazing (far better than Barefoot), and the greens rolled true, albeit a bit slow, in season, they could be the best in the Strand. It was a blast to play.
It was a highly enjoyable trip to Myrtle Beach, I can't wait to return.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Snow
In December? Too early. At the bank today, they closed at 3pm, instead of 5pm, on account of the weather. I wish I could work abbreviated bank hours.
How about them UVA Cavaliers? Great hire of Greg Brandon as OC (former HC at Bowling Green).
How about them UVA Cavaliers? Great hire of Greg Brandon as OC (former HC at Bowling Green).
Monday, December 15, 2008
7-7
The Bengals are amazing! I can't believe they've lost a game this year. They are going to be tough in the playoffs.
Five people I don't want coaching the Redskins in 2009.
5. Vladimir Putin - Wouldn't grasp cap considerations.
4. Mike Groh - We should have seen the warning signs when he designed plays on Electric Football with the board upside down.
3. Tony Stewart - He's already bailed on Joe Gibbs once.
2. Hal Sutton - 'Be the right cover two, to-DAY!'
1. The Swedish Chef - Too existential, and no one would understand him, except maybe Portis.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Moron!
"Developer Wilbur Ray Todd Jr. bought the house for $450,000 shortly after Vick was indicted on federal dogfighting conspiracy charges. At an auction last December, Todd rejected a bid of $747,000, which is the assessed value of the property for tax purposes but less than the $1 million Todd wanted. The house was put on the market but remained unsold."
$297,000 wasn't enough of a profit? What a greedy knucklehead. I hope it never sells.
$297,000 wasn't enough of a profit? What a greedy knucklehead. I hope it never sells.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Likes I Used to Hate
Growing up, there were so many things (mostly brought on by my parents) I couldn't stand, but I've come around to enjoy.
1.) The Christmas Music Station - 97.1 in DC. Listening to Christmas music in the car drove me crazy, and queued eye-rolling and slumping in my seat. Today I can't get enough of the station. I even have my favorites, anything off the Beach Boys Christmas Album is auditory delight.
2.) Diet Soda - Or cola, as it was at the time. Used to be unable to stomach it, now it is all I drink. I'll even pick up a 2-Liter of Diet Rite on occasion.
3.) Yogurt- I used to not be able to stand the texture, now it is an enjoyable breakfast or snack. Granted, yogurt has come leaps and bounds since the 80s (better flavor, more variety)but the Elmer's Glue viscosity still remains.
1.) The Christmas Music Station - 97.1 in DC. Listening to Christmas music in the car drove me crazy, and queued eye-rolling and slumping in my seat. Today I can't get enough of the station. I even have my favorites, anything off the Beach Boys Christmas Album is auditory delight.
2.) Diet Soda - Or cola, as it was at the time. Used to be unable to stomach it, now it is all I drink. I'll even pick up a 2-Liter of Diet Rite on occasion.
3.) Yogurt- I used to not be able to stand the texture, now it is an enjoyable breakfast or snack. Granted, yogurt has come leaps and bounds since the 80s (better flavor, more variety)but the Elmer's Glue viscosity still remains.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Wil Collins and Q School
The PGA Qualifying school is a study in expectations and agony, and makes for understated (and under appreciated) television drama.
Wil Collins was attempting to make the tour for the seventh time, and was 0 for 6 reaching the Final Stage of Q School. He is getting married in the spring and, presumably, would pursue another occupation if he were to miss qualifying. After four marginal rounds he was even placed in the course rotation for guys just looking to earn tour status in 2009. However, after the subsequent 35 holes of he had improved his position to -19, on the number, to qualify for the PGA.
His 90th hole was the 2nd toughest on the Nicklaus Course, 460 yard par 4 with a water hazard hugging the right side of the fairway, through the green, and rough/mounding on the left. Needing a par to reach the PGA, Collins tentatively pulled his drive left, where it parried left off the mounds, to a blind shot to the green. He elected to lay up to @ 150 yards for his 3rd, and, into the sun, put his approach 20 feet under the hole. Needing a one-putt to secure his Card, is putt broke 14 inches to the right, and on its last rotation settled into the cup. Par. PGA. While his caddie was overcome with emotion, Wil smiled, handed him his putter, and walked off the green to sign his card. Why revel in the biggest golf shot of your life?
Few stories are written about PGA Qualifying School, and fewer still on guys who earn their tour card on the number. In 2009 Wil Collins will be walking the fairways of the PGA Tour, with my support.
Wil Collins was attempting to make the tour for the seventh time, and was 0 for 6 reaching the Final Stage of Q School. He is getting married in the spring and, presumably, would pursue another occupation if he were to miss qualifying. After four marginal rounds he was even placed in the course rotation for guys just looking to earn tour status in 2009. However, after the subsequent 35 holes of he had improved his position to -19, on the number, to qualify for the PGA.
His 90th hole was the 2nd toughest on the Nicklaus Course, 460 yard par 4 with a water hazard hugging the right side of the fairway, through the green, and rough/mounding on the left. Needing a par to reach the PGA, Collins tentatively pulled his drive left, where it parried left off the mounds, to a blind shot to the green. He elected to lay up to @ 150 yards for his 3rd, and, into the sun, put his approach 20 feet under the hole. Needing a one-putt to secure his Card, is putt broke 14 inches to the right, and on its last rotation settled into the cup. Par. PGA. While his caddie was overcome with emotion, Wil smiled, handed him his putter, and walked off the green to sign his card. Why revel in the biggest golf shot of your life?
Few stories are written about PGA Qualifying School, and fewer still on guys who earn their tour card on the number. In 2009 Wil Collins will be walking the fairways of the PGA Tour, with my support.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Your 2009 Masters Champion
Won in a playoff over Robert Karlsson, Henrik Stenson. Is there a golfer on the planet playing better?
Why is it I think Stenson is about 6'5"? Probably for the same reason(s) I think Michael Turner is 6'4".
Why is it I think Stenson is about 6'5"? Probably for the same reason(s) I think Michael Turner is 6'4".
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Virginia v. Minnesota
Good effort, albeit in a loss, for UVA tonight. Despite the inability to quickly rotate on defense, I am cautiously optimistic. Granted, not this year, but for the next two. If I am Leitao, I start Landesberg (3), Zeglinski (1), Sene (5)(freshman), Farrakhan (2), and Scott (4) (sophomore). The lineup is going to be fluid throughout the season, with Baker and Jones getting major minutes, but I'd like to see Diane buried on the bench.
I love USC relinquishing a timeout to wear their red jerseys, and UCLA offering up one of their own for fairness. I'd like to see UCLA develop for a Neuheisel/Carrol rivalry, but good stuff.
I love USC relinquishing a timeout to wear their red jerseys, and UCLA offering up one of their own for fairness. I'd like to see UCLA develop for a Neuheisel/Carrol rivalry, but good stuff.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tough Two Week Stretch...
...for my beloved Redskins. They definitely need to win one of the two games, between today v. NYG and next weekend @ BAL. The BAL game is 8:15, and, having been to M&T Stadium, it will be like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. The post apocalyptic scene will actually benefit DC on account of fans quick to turn on Flacco, or to out of their minds to even make it to the game.
Thank goodness for television, you couldn't entice me to attend the game with free tickets, parking, and a flame-thrower.
Regarding the Redskins schedule, my predictions swing on a weekly basis, which is unsettling, considering it is Week 13. Having 3 of the final 4 games on the road is unfortunate, but they play better on the road. A win today wouldn't have me thinking 11-5, like most would, but 10-6, which would be enough to put us over the hump. A loss won't bring the exaggerated doom predictions either. If we are 7-5 after today, I predict 9.5 - 6.5, which puts us on the bubble for the playoffs. Add to the equation a loss to Portis would be devastating, and we also need to keep Springs spry enough to play. Neither are practicing during the week, I put the chances @ 30% for both to occur over the next five weeks.
Wow, that was a frustrating paragraph to type.
Thank goodness for television, you couldn't entice me to attend the game with free tickets, parking, and a flame-thrower.
Regarding the Redskins schedule, my predictions swing on a weekly basis, which is unsettling, considering it is Week 13. Having 3 of the final 4 games on the road is unfortunate, but they play better on the road. A win today wouldn't have me thinking 11-5, like most would, but 10-6, which would be enough to put us over the hump. A loss won't bring the exaggerated doom predictions either. If we are 7-5 after today, I predict 9.5 - 6.5, which puts us on the bubble for the playoffs. Add to the equation a loss to Portis would be devastating, and we also need to keep Springs spry enough to play. Neither are practicing during the week, I put the chances @ 30% for both to occur over the next five weeks.
Wow, that was a frustrating paragraph to type.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Respect
I've gained respect, over time, for Bernhard Langer. At 50+ he is competitive on both the Senior and regular Tours (T3 heading to Sunday on the Euro Tour USB Honk Kong Open, in a playoff at the Byron Nelson two years ago), was a great Ryder Cup Captain, and has overcome adversity throughout his career. I despised Langer in the mid-80's, and couldn't have been happier to see him lose the Ryder Cup at Kiawah. In retrospect, I was dealing from a 32 card deck, as Langer has endured well documented putting woes to maintain consistency and be a true ambassador to the game. I look forward to watching him tomorrow morning, safe in the knowledge win or lose, he is a gentleman of the game.
Two Masters titles is also pretty nice.
Monday, November 17, 2008
What I Like
Today I like -
The evolution of 'She Talks to Angels'. Now a lesson in brevity, every note & instrument in the song serves a purpose, yet leaves great leverage for the voice and deliver of Chris Robinson. Sublime.
UVa 107 - VMI 97. RPI helper? Mike Scott 28/18 (10 offensive), Sylven Landesberg 26/8/8 in his college debut. UVA favoring youth over resume/tenure, and hopefully starting 4 Fr/So as the season evolves (Ladesberg, Zeglinski, Scott, Jones).
The evolution of 'She Talks to Angels'. Now a lesson in brevity, every note & instrument in the song serves a purpose, yet leaves great leverage for the voice and deliver of Chris Robinson. Sublime.
UVa 107 - VMI 97. RPI helper? Mike Scott 28/18 (10 offensive), Sylven Landesberg 26/8/8 in his college debut. UVA favoring youth over resume/tenure, and hopefully starting 4 Fr/So as the season evolves (Ladesberg, Zeglinski, Scott, Jones).
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Tuesday Nuggets
Listening to Cowherd on the commute to the office, and he makes a salient point how athletes take steroids not to win, but for the money (extended & exaggerated contracts). Until infractions receive fiscal penalties, athletes will continue to use steroids. I can't imagine the difficulty passing measure requiring the contracts of those found guilty of using steroids to be null & void. Rather, potential remove the year of largest value from the contract? Retract a % of the signing bonus? Or, write the penalty into the language of the contract before it is signed?
Need to get back into the Capitals. Lately, great sports team in DC is an anomaly, I need to enjoy.
Need to get back into the Capitals. Lately, great sports team in DC is an anomaly, I need to enjoy.
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