Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Dream Job

A while back I was asked what I would choose to do as my dream job. What I thought would be an easy question turned into an introspective review of my likes and dislikes, and what would bring me true happiness. Like most everyone, I think it would be great to have tons of cash, but am not interested in the fame that comes with success in certain areas (sports, politics).

If I had the choice of any job, I would be a successful author. You are able to choose your subject, create your own schedule, live wherever you want, and live in total anonymity. Unlike sports, which involves a mind-numbing daily routine, and visits the same destinations, writing would be intellectually stimulating, and allow for expansive travel, related to researching book topics, or under one's free will.

Working under my own schedule would allow for outside interests (golf, reading, other pursuits). Lifestly could be urban or rural, and your work would be received by a higher common denominator of fans than a sports team or band. Most importantly, one could live in complete anonymity. I'd refuse to promote or do book shows.

Monday, August 29, 2005


I've got my Fantasy draft tonight, and with the 11th pick (of 14) I am left with limited options. After my 2RD pick, it is going to be a long wait (21 picks) until I pick again, so I figure I am forced to go with two running backs in the first two rounds. While a decent WR or QB could be available at 11, the deep crop of RBs will be gone by the 3rd round, and I don't want to be left picking at scraps looking for a sleeper, who may never wake up (Ricky Williams).

In 3RD, I plan on taking a good QB, as WRs drop off after the first 3-4, and TEs drop off after the first two, and the 2nd level available is of greater uncertainty at WR and TE than at QB. I think a 2nd tier QB has more value than a 2nd tier at the other positions, and there is a bigger gap between 2nd and 3rd tier QBs than 2nd/3rd WRs and TEs.

Finally, is there a draft this year where Antonio Gates and Tony Gonzalez don't go with subsequent picks? One of the two gets nabbed, and the next guy clams up and it afraid of passing on a proven points scorer and grabs the other. I guarantee it will happen tonight, probably around the start of 3RD.

Friday, August 26, 2005

US Amateur

3:30 at the office, and the place cleared out faster than the audience at 'Just Married'. Being I don't want to me the last man in the boat, I'll make this short and sweet.

Watch the US Amateur this weekend. Match play is great drama (when it isn't played by millionaires) and the venue is Merion, a revered course that has not hosted a US Open since 1981. It is the first I have seen of the place, and it looks phenominal, on par with the Oakmont/Country Club level of US golf courses, a step below Pine Valley and a step above Seminole.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Tommy Lee Goes to College

I had a chance to view a television show of interest, ‘Tommy Lee Goes to College’. Having been a Motley Crue fan for years, my interest was piqued regarding the level of havoc Tommy could bring to Nebraska.

Unfortunately, the show has not, of yet, met expectations. Based on Tommy Lee’s history, you would think he would spend his time corrupting first-years and wrecking general havoc. Sadly, he is actually taking the experience seriously. Essentially, he is doing all the things I have no interest in watching.

When the show premiered, for an instant I thought it would be awful if he exceeded my college GPA, but he is doing all the things that I didn’t do (study, sleep, not drink excessively and often, to the point of blackout), so no real skin off my ass if he does. Best of luck to him, I look forward to the sequel where they send a dog to Maryland and he ends up being an honors student.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


This weekend I travelled between VA and NJ and had to subject myself to 9 tortuous hours on 95. The only thing keeping my sanity was the All-80's weekend on 106.5, which has reception from DC to Exit 2 on the NJ turnpike. I highly recommend.

The trip took so long you go from just enjoying the songs at face value, to expending thought as to who would be most aptly suited to sing the song if it was currently remade. Some of the songs I remember dissecting:

Burning Down The House - 311
Dancing on the Ceiling - Robbie Williams
Pour Some Sugar on Me - Kid Rock

Also, did you know there is a he Man figure named Fisto? I think he was in my fraternity:

Monday, August 22, 2005

11th out of 15

In my fantasy draft. Snake draft, no keepers.

What the eff should I do? Credible advice will be entered into a drawing for $5 of expired McDonalds gift certificates.

Waste of Space

Funny/sad anecdote from the weekend:

I know of a couple, who after having been together for three years, and living together, broke up as the boyfriend was cheating on the girlfriend with a girl in Kansas City (they live in Colorado), who was to be his new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the two were in a wedding this weekend, and required to walk down the aisle together. For the sake/sanity of their friends, the bride and groom, they decided to keep the breakup a secret.

Everything went off according to plan, so well that the boyfriend, the stupidest man alive, felt so normal that he would approach his ex-girlfriend during conversations with family and friends, as if everything was normal, and went so far as to go to the post-reception hangout. The girlfriend kept it together remarkably well, save a few dashes to the bathorrom for explosive tear-letting.

How wretched of a human being would have the audacity to attend a wedding with an ex, who he had been cheating on for months? Both he and his new girlfriend must be real class acts, especially after resigning themselves to seaking around until he had the gall to tell his girlfriend. Finally, as the ultimate insult, he lacks the common sense to gracefully bow out of the wedding, to forge a new life with KC-harlot, instead making the ex-girlfriend's life a living hell.

I don't know how the girlfriend didn't call out her cheating ex, and embarass the hell out of him. If put in a similar situation, I would not go public while the bride and groom were still present, but immediately after their departure I would have gone Paul Revere until every cousin/grandmother/friend/college drinking buddy knew what an ass the cheater was. It is a shame spineless losers get off scot free. I hope I am missing some part of the story, like the girlfriend having VD and never telling the boyfriend.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Katie Couric

Yesterday on the Tony Kornheiser show, Tony railed Ms. Couric for her opening line in a piece on skyrocketing gasoline prices,

"I had to take out a loan to fill the tank in my minivan."

- Katie Couric doesn't own a minivan.
- Katie Couric doesn't drive her own car, hasn't in 15 years.
- Katie Couric makes $15M annually.

Sadly, the jab at Ms. Couric was repeated on sports message boards, populated by the demographic that listens to the Tony Kornheiser show (M, 18-45). People were up in arms that she could be so stupid to say something so completely off base with reality. Her writer should be fired, and she should be reprimanded.

'Today' is a fluff show, with fluff news pieces. The anchors are talking heads, rather than investigative journalists. She can say whatever she wants, and whatever is written for her. Stupid or not, she is the ultimate winner, getting paid $15M to not have to think.

Monday, August 15, 2005

PGA Championship

Phil Mickelson wins the PGA Championship, which makes me happy. The more majors he wins, the easier it is going to be to continue winning, as only 10-15 players are capable of winning, evidenced by the miserable efforts by those in contention. Sergio Garcia is not on the list.

My takeaway from the PGA is, like him or not (I straddle the fence, falling towards like), you cannot argue Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer of all time. Simply, he hits shots no one else can hit. Ever. Which is not to say he is the most powerful golfer ever, which he is not, but his combination of finesse, power, and accuracy are unparalleled. His shots on 17 at Baltusrol, puncuated by his near-skim of the pin yesterday, will never be equaled. I've evolved over time from thinking Tiger was overexposed (which he is), to simply enjoying the shots he is able to pull off.

CBS, while still offering the best network coverage, I found to be slipping from its pedestal. No major flaws, just minor misses (throwing to the wrong announcer, mistaking how a golfer stood, displaying the wrong on-screen credentials). I noticed 7-9 throughout the week, probably meaning there were @ 15-20 overall. Is it possible to get good golf coverage in the US? I am spoiled by the Eurpoean Tour coverage on Saturday and Sunday mornings on the Golf Channel, by far the most underrated programming on television. Fantastic coverage, and great television at a pivotal point in the day when nothing else is worth watching.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Mike Strantz

Just wanted to take a moment to honor the passing of a true visionary in his field, golf course architect Mike Strantz. It is a shame Mr. Strantz passed away, as his contributions to golf course architecture were unique in that they extended the boundaries of what could be accomplished in creating a course. His revolutionary designs were debated for their merit and contribution to the game, and any criticism was ignored, as Mr. Strantz continued to build courses that were extreme in design, and comparable to works of art, which he also created.

Mike Strantz's work is golf is matched by his decision to walk away from design, as a disciple of Tom Fazio, in the late 1980's to spend more time with his family. The hiatus allowed the quality time he cherished, and refueled his interest in golf course architecture.

Personally, it was as I began to see golf courses for more than just a score at the end of a round that Strantz's first designs were opening, and garnering a great deal of attention. Caledonia and True Blue, in addition to Royal New Kent and Stonehouse outside of Richmond are courses that leave an impression on a golfer. At the time I knew little about golf course architecture, and I still know little, but Mike Strantz was the first name I learned in the field, and will always remember, and have enjoyed on numerous occasions the output of his efforts.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

About $0.40

Today I had a Comcast appointment scheduled for 11am - 4pm. The technician didn't arrive until 5:30. The fact that I took off a half day of work that was wasted drew compensation of a $20 credit for the five hours. Apparently Comcast has equated my time to be worth $4/hour.

Despite my irate state, I cut the technician slack, as he was just pathetic, and it was somewhat amusing in a demeaning way to watch him slide on the hardwood floors in my apartment in the workboot booties they are required to wear to prevent scuffing.

As irked as I was, it is frustrating there is no reasonable alternative to Comcast. If there are, suggestions would be appreciated.

At least a day watching network channels on my gerryrigged pre-Comcast tv was better than the 36 yesterday at Worthington Manor. It is a minor miracle my putter is still intact. I was beating the hell out of that thing.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Money Wasted

Shortly after 8AM the space shuttle safely landed. I really don't care.

Is there any endeavor more pointless than than space shuttle? I canot think of one innovation that was fostered or spunoff from any space shuttle launch. I am assuming most satellites are launched from rockets.

I can't see the shuttle launches for anything other than a multimillion dollar expense. Is the underlying motive an international pissing contest? If shuttles serve any purpose, shouldn't we align funding and research with other nations for cumulative benefit?

Finally, why land the shuttle in Florida, essentially having picked the state with the most unpredictable summer weather in the nation?. After multiple delays, the shuttle landed in California (in the Mojave Desert), home of 35 rain-days annually, as opposed to the veritable swamp that is Cape Canaveral.

Monday, August 08, 2005

I Don't Get It

On Friday night, I took a break from novel-reading, poetry-writing, and creating a forumla to solve world hunger (Comcast has yet to hook up my TV) to view a critically-acclaimed play in which a good friend from high school and college was one of the starring actors.

The play was fantastic for a number of reasons, but it stood out on two accounts:

The language of the play was fast-paced and intelligent, and made no attempt to ensure the entire audience was "in on the joke". The result was personalized humor, as I understood most of the jokes, but I am sure there were many quips that I didn't get. I hold in high regard any production/piece of media that does not go to great lengths to ensure that everyone understands everything. The effect was a personalized account of the unfolding events, rather than any mass-produced effort that is lacking in insightful humor.

Sadly, most successful endeavors, while appearing intelligent, are easily understood and generally liked. In addition to all TV, books (did you meet anyone who didn't like The DiVinci Code?), and plays (Mama Mia, a musical, I realize, content poor) now cater to the lowest common denominator, to reach a broader audience, which offers a greater chance for success. I value a work that allows for personal interpretation, at the expense of being received with head-knodding approval.

The play was good because it simply appeared real and made me want to know what was going to happen next. I could care less if the acting was critically acceptable, it made me believe what was being depicted.

While the last sentence sounds stupid, it is not something I take for granted. As a result of all the movie critics, sports radio personalities, political analysts, I had started to view movies/sports/tv from an abstract view where "I disliked the movie because the acting was poor", rather than "I disliked the movie because it was a bad movie". Everyone expresses their opinion about everything, and what receives any airtime are ideas that are unique, to the point of absurdity, which has become the norm. I guess it is more prevalent in sports, which require an opinion on every subject, but to say "I just liked it" comes off as lacking thought. Ultimately, I have no problem saying I liked the play because it was funny, and it made me believe the story.

Friday, August 05, 2005


Am I missing some huge inside joke, as all my friends in DC think that Carvel is the best place on earth, and I only associate it with white trash birthday parties?

The ice cream gives me the runs like soft serve, has no taste, and the ice cream cakes go from being Cialis-hard to mush with no in-between time, and are 80% icing anyway. And Cookie Puss scares the shit out of me.

Someone please explain the allure of Carvel.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Quite the Distraction

The media attention Rafael Palmiero is receiving for testing positive for steroids is reaching heights not acheived since OJ was tooling around in his sweet Bronco. The specualtion on 980 today revolved around whether he should immediately retire, as the entire scenario has been both a burden on his children, and would serve as a distraction to the Orioles once he returns.

Unfortunately, Raffy wasn't too worried about his children when he was juicing. Truthfully, his kids should be happy he opted for steroids, as it lengthened his career to the point where they won't have to work a day in their lives.

"Distraction to the Orioles"? God forbid the aftermath of the Palmiero 'roid scandal take attention from how badly the O's stink, and how their hitting has fallen flat on its face. They should be encouraging the team to take steroids to boost their anemic offense, worst case scenario they get caught, and deflect the attention from their annual 4-32 finish.

As overscrutinized as the issue has become, it did result in the quote of the year from Mississippi redneck Will Clark, who has always maintained a strained relationship with Raffy. When asked what he would tell Palmiero regarding the situation, he responded,

"heh, heh, got caught, par'ner!"

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Biggest. Ripoff. Ever.

Tickets to the President's Cup at Robert Trent Jones on Lake Manassas are selling for $60 - $80, depending on the day. Purchasing a ticket entitles you to fighting crowds to watch one of four matches on the course at any given time, or the Sunday singles, which require the most expensive ticket, but may be anticlimatic to the outcome of the event.

In actuality the entire event is anticlimatic, as the US got smoked at the Ryder Cup last year, the only team competition that kinda matters, but really doesn't, as these guys compete every week and staged PGA team events have morphed into a marketing/moneymaking racket.

Nothing about the President's Cup appeals to me. Going to a PGA event is most fun on Thursday/Friday, when crowds are small, and you can follow golfers for a few holes, or pick a spot to watch oncoming shots/putts. The beauty is in the details, not a partisan crowd atmosphere.

Parking at the PC also sucks, as does the drive on RT 29 in Gainsville.

Monday, August 01, 2005

"Getting shot at ain't something nice."

Per today's article in the Washington Post, Sean Taylor reprorted to Redskins' Minicamp. In addition to his eye-opening declaration his summer run-ins with the law have also led him to realize, the dangerous situation heencountered.

I'm not talking about one or two bullets. I'm talking about a whole lot of bullets."

Went out to a bar on Saturday night, and have come to the realization that when I was 22-25 I did some stupid stuff, but feel today's 22-25 year olds act/dress more moronic than those of us five years earlier. In my opinion, the gaudy, huge sunglasses (either Aviators or the ridiculous pairs females wear) are complete garbage. Women go as far as to pair the sunglasses with some sort of an oversized purse every bit as foolish. The trendy/trashy fashion statment is awful.

On a side note, at the bar I saw three girls all wearing t-shirts with sayings on them, playing pool. It was my personal version of hell.