Thursday, August 04, 2005

Quite the Distraction

The media attention Rafael Palmiero is receiving for testing positive for steroids is reaching heights not acheived since OJ was tooling around in his sweet Bronco. The specualtion on 980 today revolved around whether he should immediately retire, as the entire scenario has been both a burden on his children, and would serve as a distraction to the Orioles once he returns.

Unfortunately, Raffy wasn't too worried about his children when he was juicing. Truthfully, his kids should be happy he opted for steroids, as it lengthened his career to the point where they won't have to work a day in their lives.

"Distraction to the Orioles"? God forbid the aftermath of the Palmiero 'roid scandal take attention from how badly the O's stink, and how their hitting has fallen flat on its face. They should be encouraging the team to take steroids to boost their anemic offense, worst case scenario they get caught, and deflect the attention from their annual 4-32 finish.

As overscrutinized as the issue has become, it did result in the quote of the year from Mississippi redneck Will Clark, who has always maintained a strained relationship with Raffy. When asked what he would tell Palmiero regarding the situation, he responded,

"heh, heh, heh...you got caught, par'ner!"

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