Final 2009 Thoughts

I wish all an enjoyable night and Happy New Year. 2009 was a fantastic year, with marriage being the pinnacle event (and our two weeks in Italy). In addition, I was able to accomplish my 2009 resolution (visit the gym a certain # of times).

A few golf-related predictions for 2010.

- TW golfs his ball at a level we've never seen before. While his past month has been atrocious, it takes @ 18 months to recover from ACL reconstruction. His focus will be heightened. I expect two Majors and eight wins.

- A Major will go to a deserving golfer, either Steve Stricker or Lee Westwood (possibly both).

- Rory McIlroy wins a WGC event.

- Chris Wood is Top 5 in the European Tour Order of Merit.

- 2010 Major Winners. Masters - TW, US Open - TW, The Open - LW, PGA - SS.

(Update #1) UVA related - It is hard to believe UVA hired new basketball and football coaches in 2009. I think the Tony Bennett hire is outstanding, and look forward to how he can improve the current roster, and develop his own players once they arrive. Mike London is a hire which makes me cautiously optimistic; he knows the focus must be on recruiting the state of Virginia,a contrast to the early Groh years which expanded our recruiting base to NJ, PA, NC.

Looking to expand beyond HIAH in 2010, picked up a few new domains, mulling some ideas. Again, all the best.

(Update #2) - You can now access the site through rrd96.com.

Top Christmas Songs

I whole-heartedly enjoy a good Christmas son. My favorites:

5. Christmas In Hollis - Run DMC. Does it count?

4. Let IT Snow - Aaron Neville. How does such a hulking individual have a vulnerable voice?

3. 2000 Miles - Chrissy Hynde.

2. Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley.

1. SCICTT - Bruce Springsteen. Classic. Never gets old.

I Won't Get Fooled Again

I was in the unenviable position of spectator at the Redskins v. Giants game. It is barely worth wasting words at the atrocity of the home team. I've never seen a team more listless and resigned to losing. The new GM, Allen, needs to start from scratch in the non-cap year. I see few salvageable parts. While other tams have worse records, at least they have building blocks.

Detroit - Stafford & Johnson (if only for trade value)
Cleveland - Cribbs & Harrison (I thought his line from Sunday was typographically incorrect)
KC - Charles & Cassel

Washingotn has Orakpo and an aging (and overpaid) Haynesworth. Everyone else needs to go. Trade down in Round One of the draft to accumulate picks, and lunge for Ryan Mallet mid/late in Round Two. Spend the rest of the draft on OL. Avoid drafting skill position players (Sleepy Davis and Kelly/Thomas can me productive).

Quick Redskins Note

With the good comes the (potentially) bad. After an all-around good performance and win in Oakland, in a (marginally) related development Jake Locker decided to stay at the University of Washington for his senior year. I'd be willing to lend him the $0.35 to call Sam Bradford and see if his attitude towards a 'full college career' changed after his limited and injury-prone season.

Unfortunately, the QB pool for the draft (a position the Redskins are presumably targeting) got a bit thinner, as Locker won't be available, and potential QBs may be drafted before the Redskins pick. I think Locker would have been successful in DC, he'd be my #1 option, but I wouldn't be disappointed with Bradford or Clausen. Truth be told, with JL opting for another 280 days of Seattle rain, I hope the 'Skins wait until R2 to draft Ryan Mallett / Tony Pike, who both have the opportunity to be successful.

Whole Foods - Profits

While dining at Whole Foods last night I noticed a posted sign explaining how certain days are designated '5% Days', where 5% of the daily profits are donated to a designate charity. The tally from the most recent 5% Day donated @ $5200 to charity. Some quick back of the napkin math led me to realize the daily profit of the Alexandria Whole Foods is @ $100,000 (with a minor subtraction for any profit bump on the day of the charity donation).

Can a Whole Foods really have a $36.5M profit for the year? What am I missing?

Update: WF sells beer/win, which makes a daily profit of $100K more feasible. What are other high-margin WF items? Fruit? Organic items?

Al Groh is Out

It will be difficult to lure a successful coach to UVA, based on academic restrictions, and poor YOY performance. Realizing the decision will not be solely based on football, my thoughts:

Untouchable I'd want, if $ weren't an object: Jeff Tedford

My current wishlist (and % chance):

1. Chris Petersen (BSU) (2%)
2. Pat Fitzgerald (NU) (1%)
2. Calhoun (AF) (4%)
3. London (UoR) (55%)
4. Butch Jones (CMU) (3%)
5. Grobe (WFU) (25%)
6. Strong (UF)(10%)
7. Woody Hayes, Mike Price, and Gene Stallings
196. Flavor Flav
278. Golden and Mike Groh

Major Applewhite as a darkhorse?

LRJ WR

Lebron's talk of playing WR for the Cleveland Browns makes for good discussion.

"Quarterback Brady Quinn also heard about James' football fetish. He would love to have a target to throw to like James in the red zone."

Shouldn't you reach the red zone before discussing your red zone options?

If LJ waits too long, the orange helmet referred to by Mangini will be that of a construction worker, if he's lucky enough to land a foreman job after getting freed by Cleveland.

LJ would have more success as a WR for the Giants.

NCAA BB 2009

I enjoyed ESPN’s NCAA BB Marathon; it jogged memories of the NCAA Tournament, and watching a sequence of games, a whetting of the whistle.

Down:
Kansas - #1 on the basis of returning starters/scorers (top 9), but I see marginal improvement from last years S16 team. Aldrich will take touches from more athletic players, and it will be hard to settle on a rotation.

Duke – Lost their most athletic player when Elliott Williams transferred to Memphis.

Top Ten Teams (in general) – Most T10 teams have a few superstars and little depth, or depth with no go to scorer. More cracks/flaws in the T10 than in the past.

Up:
Teams not currently in the Top 25 – Maryland (GV, EH, LM) has depth and experience, and will rise as the season progresses. Memphis gained a potential All American in Williams (kudos to the NCAA for allowing him to immediately transfer, on account of personal hardship) but the team has a lot of growing up to do (under an untested coach) and improve their shooting to be dangerous. Not used to being the underdog, I see them improving as the year progresses. Gonzaga has a young team, who will undertake a difficult schedule, but Mark Few will prepare them well for March.

Magazine Rankings 2009

I've never curtailed my interest in reading, which leads me to receive a multitude of magazines, covering many different subjects. My 2009 magazine ranking:

1. Dwell - The writing is intentionally sparse, but the pictures are the true content, and convey beautiful homes, offices, tree houses, etc. Very imaginative and inspiring.

2. GQ - Quality articles, great style advice. I enjoy it as much as I did at 18.

3. Sports Illustrated - My parents bought me my own subscription for a 30th birthday gift, and I couldn't be happier. Not the same magazine I used to snip for my wall murals at age 10, but still a cover to cover gem. SI may be the foundation for men aged 28-42.

4. Fast Company - Excellent reading, understated humor, diverse topic coverage.

5. Inc. - Good stories of small business success.

6. Golf - Excellent interviews, which are stymied by the excessive advertising.

7. Vanity Fair - Three excellent stories per issue, the rest is advertising.

8. Wired - I don't understand Wired.

Forrest Gump, Lillehammer, and Ace of Base

While OJ was in the back of Al Cowlings' Bronco, and Arkansas won the NCAA basketball tournament on the sharp-shooting of Scotty Thurmond, our anonymous coed was watching the debut of Friends before grinding to 'The Sign' at the Tacky Party.

At least that is what her gym t-shirt from yesterday supposed (Tacky Party 1994). I was both impressed and reviled by a fifteen year old shirt.

Musings...

- A friend at work mentioned taking her kids to the school book fair, and immediately conjured up great memories. The gargantuan metal lockers, color coded by age, are am image I (surprisingly) remember quite easily,and fondly.

- I should revisit my elementary school to see if my mental map still matches the actual layout, and how the scale has shrunken as I have grown.

- The Golf Channel has done such a good job covering the HSBC and JBWere Masters I'd forgotten there was a concurrent PGA Tournament (Disney) with a good field (Fowler, Lovemark, Johnson, Toms, Gay). Nightly live coverage is fantastic.

- Hard to believe it has been 11 years since TW competed in Australia. Raking a $3M appearance fee doesn't hurt.

NCAAA Bowl Projections

Stewart Mandel's Bowl Projections elicits low expectations at the paucity of (projected) marquee games. Nerveless, the speculative gates are open.

Bad:

- Going from a BCS Title matchup to the Sugar Bowl (against Cincinnati) would be a precipitous drop for Florida, and deservedly so, based on their play over the last month.

- Does anyone care about GT/Iowa in the Orange Bowl? Did anyone care before Iowa lost this weekend?

- Wow, is the PAC 10 down (more so than most years). A 2L Oregon in the Orange Bowl? I'd rather watch Stanford.

- A mediocre Big East and TCU wreck the BCS bowls. They have arguable cases for being the best teams in 2009, but BCS games should pit big conference foes.

Good:

- Alabama/UT would be a great title bout.

- While Central Michigan (MAC) vs. Louisiana-Monroe (Big Ten No. 7*) looks terrible on paper, how can anyone argue with the Little Caesars Bowl?

- Auburn/Clemson would match inconsistent teams in the Chick-fil-A Bowl.

- Miami would annihilate ND in the Gator Bowl.

- Houston/Georgia would feature an upstart v. a stalwart.

Number of bowl games I'll match +/- 1.5, the Rose and possibly one more game.

Free Advertising

Thanks to two days of rain at the Viking Classic, Dean Wilson has gotten more face time on pgatour.com than he received prior to Thursday.

Shouldn't Brett Favre be the official sponsor of the Viking Classic? (rimshot)

Top Ten Professional Golfers Under 25

The focus of the Frys.com Open was the emergence of youth on the PGA Tour, a needed spotlight for the post Tour Championship events, where kids in their early 20s with nothing to lose can play anxiety free golf. As homage to a final round which included a hole-in-one and a ball jump out of a water hazard, my Top 10 Professional Golfers under the age of 25. Just missing the list are Dustin Johnson and Michael Sim (both 25).

10. Tony Finau (21) – Currently on The Big Break, averages @ 330 yards off the tee.
Prediction: Two wins on PGA Tour
Comparison: JB Holmes

9. Pablo Martin (23) – Won the Estoril Open de Portugal in 2007, becoming the first amateur to win on the European Tour.
Prediction: Three wins on European Tour, one WGC win, one Ryder Cup
Comparison: Luke Donald

8. Shane Lowry (23) – Won 2009 Irish Open in a playoff over Robert Rock (great name). Currently 190 in the WGR.
Prediction: Five wins Worldwide, two Ryder Cups
Comparison: Darren Clarke

7. Rickie Fowler (20) – All-everything from Oklahoma State, NCAA Player of the Year as a freshman. Lost in playoff @ Frys.com Open to Troy Matteson. While others see a perfect pedigree, I see him being somewhat undersized, and possessing a swing with too many moving parts.
Prediction: 10 PGA Tour wins, one Major, Four Ryder Cups
Comparison: Hal Sutton, Fred Couples

6. Jason Day (21) – Won the 2007 Legend Financial Classic on the Nationwide Tour, becoming the youngest winner of a Tour-sponsored event. Has played the last two years on the PGA Tour.
Prediction: 12 PGA Tour wins, one Major, Three President's Cups
Comparison: Jim Furyk, Tom Kite

5. Ryo Ishikawa (19) – Four wins on the 2009 Japan Golf Tour, youngest player to reach the Top 50 on the WGR (36).
Prediction: 20 wins worldwide, two Majors, Eight President's Cups
Comparison: Sandy Lyle

4. Matteo Manassero (16) – Youngest winner of the British Amateur, played with Tom Watson and Sergio Garcia in the 2009 Open, finishing T13 (Sunday 69).
Prediction: 15 wins worldwide, two Majors, five Ryder Cups
Comparison: Bernhard Langer

3. Jamie Lovemark (21) – Won NCAAs as a freshman @ USC, lost in playoff @ Frys.com Open to Troy Matteson. Fundamentally sound (simple) swing and height (6’4”) accentuates length off the teem
Prediction: 10 PGA Tour wins, 3 Majors, multiple Ryder/President’s Cups
Comparison: Nick Price, Ernie Els

2. Anthony Kim (24) – Hard to believe AK isn’t 25. Already a 2 time Tour winner and Ryder/Presiden’t Cup stalwart.
Prediction: 12 PGA Tour wins, 4 Majors, multiple Ryder/President’s Cups
Comparison: Raymond Floyd

1. Rory McIlroy (20) – Won the 2009 Dubai Dessert Classic on the European Tour, solid showings in Majors, WGC events. Swing is both powerful and accurate.
Prediction: 30 wins Worldwide, 15 PGA Tour wins, 5 Majors, 10 Ryder Cups
Comparison: Nick Flado, Phil Mickelson

Up and Down

An interesting E (70) for Kevin Streelman @ the Frys.com Open. http://bit.ly/1nEe6w.

I'm surprised he didn't withdraw, or break any clubs.

Question of the Day

Would it be weird to purchase a chair for my office and neglect the standard issue offering?

Laughingstock

UVA football is atrocious. Without delving into details, I hold the coaching staff fully accountable, as we have talented athletes who are trapped in the first year implementation of a spread offence, which is being sabotaged/watered-down by Groh. Also (one last rant), how do you come out in the spread against W&M, instead of running it down their throat to a 14+ point lead, before implementing the spread? We compleletely negated out athletic superiority.

If/when/once Groh is fired, the popular replacement is Mike London (Richmond). Personally, I want no part of any coach from the Al Groh lineage. My choices to replace Al Groh:

1. Chris Peterson -Boise State - Would he leave a perennial top 15 team for a rebuilding assignment?
2. Troy Calhoun - Air Force - Former service academy coaches are favorably viewed at UVA
3. Paul Johnson/Tom O'Brien - GT/NCSU - We should ahve hired PJ two years ago, I knew he'd be successful @ GT, who are scary good this year. 0% chance either leaves for UVA.
4. Chris Beatty - WVU - It is only a matter of time before he gets a HC gig.

I don't want:
1. Phil Fulmer - Does not fit the UVA xcoaching persona, lauded by the same contingent who wanted Bobby Knight to replace Dave Leitao
2. Any assistant coach from USC
3. Terry Bowden

Strasburg and the Nats

That may be the only time I combine those words. With just over a day left, I'm disappointed the Nats haven't signed Strasburg, although they've offered them a 'record deal'. I'd split my blame 70/30% between the Nats and Boras.

Should the Nats not sign Strasburg, it will be the second consecutive year they do not sign their first round draft pick. By drafting SS #1, they knew he'd command a record deal which would surpass an incremental increase from the current record of $10.5m/yr. The corresponding positives (ticket & jersey sales, conversation) would outweigh the looming negatives if he gets off the hook.

Boras could care less if he blows up baseball to fatten his pockets. He's malicious.

Back in Action

After a very important layoff.

Not overly enthusiastic about the PGA Championship. Essentially out of the running for my golf pools, and I'm not inspired by Hazelbeem. The course is long, I get it.

I was miffed when I attempted to download the PGA iPhone application, and it was $1.99? No other major charges for their application (even the Masters, which provides coverage not on TV), but the PGA is trying to cash in? If you have 10,000 people purchase the application, you've made @$6,000. Additionally, their online tracker is miserable.

Pick(s)? - Don't really care, but we picked Dustin Johnson in our pool.

The Open - 2009

7:00 AM the Thursday of the Open competes with Christmas morning. There is no better way to start a day. Too bad the coverage on TBS is like a toaster dropped on one's foot, initial pain, ultimately numbing to resigned acceptance. Ernie Johnson is terrible.

Our (belated) picks.

2. Camilo Villegas
1. Graeme McDowell

Halfway There

"THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 02, 2006

Rub My Face In It Later

Lucas Glover is going to be one hell of a professional golfer. I think he wins at least two Majors by the end of the decade."

Congratulations to LG, a first-time Major Championship winner at Bethpage. Please drop the arrogant/sulking act when you are playing poorly (dragging the driver behind your body as you walk off the tee), one Curtis Strange a lifetime is enough.

U.S Open - 2009

You'd expect Bethpage Black, stretched to 7400 yards, to require length off the tee to be competitive. However, 2002 results deliver a different portrayal, as shorter hitters (with the exception of TW) fared extremely well (Maggert, Hoch, Mayfair had top ten finishes). Length will play a factor in 2009, but on account of the rainy weeks leading up to the event. If Bethpage receives rain, expect much of the same.

I remember leaving work in 2002 to watch the Friday round, which consisted of Sergio Garcia regripping for 65% of the telecast I was working a job I hated and had lunch by myself at Chili's. Easily the most miserable lunch of my life.

Aside from the presumptive favorite, TW, other potential winners.

2. Graeme McDowell - A European always makes a run (Nick Dougherty). People are focused on McIlroy, Stenson, etc., but McDowell is playing well and poised for a competitive Major.

1. Dustin Johnson - I'll be wagering on Johnson. He's the five tool golfer (drives with length, drives with accuracy, excellent irons, good short game, good putter) and has the confidence to match.

Also, golfers who won't win.

2. Angel Cabrera - Playing with Tiger Thursday/Friday is a tough draw. TW ain't Kenny Perry.

1. Paul Casey - He's overcome ill-spoken comments from his past, but New York residents have a long memory.



Also, congratulations to Cameron Yancey for qualifying. He's a product of the VSGA and played at UVA, and was a frequent competitor during my junior golf 'career'. I wasn't aware he was still playing.

Common Sense Addendum

To continue my crotchety rant, on the $20 CakeLove gift certificate, the expiration date was 'Jun 10', which required a follow-up call to ensure they meant June 2010, and I didn't have a gift certificate that expired five days after purchase. Why would you even include an expiration date?

I called Macy's to order a curio (yep) and they essentially don't sell the model we chose. While on their website, the wait for delivery is at least 90 days. They have a display model at our local mall, but they won't sell it to you. Great idea to have a display of something you can't buy.

I look for Jim Furyk to win at The Memorial, and I'm exstatic Virginia baseball is still alive in the Super Regionals (@ Old Miss).

Common Sense

Where has it gone? Two examples...

Last night we ordered a birthday cake from CakeLove, and when we went to pick it up, they hadn't made it. Awesome. In lieu, they scrambled to slap a birthday message on a different cake, which had most likely been in the display for days (it tasted like it) and give us a $20 gift certificate on a $50 cake. Thanks for the $10 cake (we didn''t order) and 'enticement' to come back to your miserable store. When did refunds become verboten.

Today at the golf course (after being annoyed when the cart vermin approached the car to take my clubs, don't ever a.)approach b.)touch my clubs) I was short on balls and picked out a sleeve of Titleist Pro V1s.

Guy working register: "If you like the Titleist, you should really buy a sleeve of Nike (whatever). They even come with two additional balls free."

So...

1.) Did I ask for a golf ball suggestion?
2.) Are you insinuating I'm a bad golfer, and a sleeve won't cut it for 18?
3.) I've played Titleist for 20+ years, you see me rifling through the sleeves, avoiding the Snack Shoppe 7s, for a sleeve of 3s, so I appear to be open to the hard sell on the Nikes?

Anyone know how to avoid the 'cart vermin' who spitshine your clubs after a round? I'm going to start wrapping 3-5 of my clubs with toilet paper coming up 18.

Producing v. Consuming

I've been overly marred in internet consuming, time to produce.

Was able to get in two rounds of golf over the weekend. I'm really enjoying the game with new fitted irons. I highly recommend anyone who takes an interest in the game do the same. I can't believe it took me 20 years to get fitted. New I need to get fitted for woods. I'm tiring of my 907, and actually swung the Cleveland Launcher well. We'll see.

With a nod to myofficialthoughts.blogspot.com, some Memorial Day fantasticism.

These Napkins are Really Thin

I really enjoy shoestring fries.

The Masters - Friday

My team, which hanging in the peloton, fell victim to a peloton crash, and will be nursing their wounds over the weekend, not in Augusta.

The Masters - Draft

Through early in the afternoon, my team is still riding in the peloton, with five under par, grouped between -4 and -1 (O' Hair, MA Jimenez, Ogilvy, Karlsson, Cink) and three hanging tough (O. Wilson, J. Rose, Pat Perez).

The Masters - Thursday

- I cannot wait to see the highlights of Larry Mize's round.

- Course appears to be perfect, which means the weather is cooperating, low/no winds, course is soft/receptive.

- TW does not look comfortable. He's backing away from many shots, and appears to have an upright stance, which conflicts with a one-plane swing.

- I enjoy watching the game of Jeev Milkha Singh. He maximizes his potential from tee to green, but is an amazing putter.

- Good for Chad Campbell running it by on 18. Never up...

- Thursday means little in respect to The Masters outcome. In addition to being a beautiful course, Augusta National is the most malleable course, over the course of four days. I expect conditions to firm as the week continues, which is not coincidental. The only impediment to molding the course is percipitation.

- I ordered personalized stationery yesterday, with the purpose of starting my letter writing campaign for Practice Round tickets.

The Masters 2009 - Picks

I hate to admit, but I ain't riding the Paul Casey train. Its too full.

Dark Horse - Pat Perez (4)
Middling - Nick Watney (2), Sean O'Hair (3)
Favorites - Stewart Cink (1)

The Masters

Tomorrow, what an amazing day. Opening day at The Masters. I really enjoyed watching today's Par 3 Contest. The cynical RRD would mutter how they have overdone the 'bring your kid to a Major' Day, but you see how genuinely happy the pros are with their families and can't help but smile. Nothing related to The Masters puts me in a bad mood, not Greg and Chrissy, nothing. Great components of Wednesday's masterpiece:

- Watching the Big Three (Nicklaus, Player, Palmer)
- Jack grinding over putts
- Faldo holing a 30 footer, which went 15 feet in each direction
- The Masters Draft
- Watching with glee as the person who drafted the Par 3 winner laments
- Needling the guy who picks a golfer not playing (David Toms earnings at the Shreveport four ball don't count)

Tomorrow cannot arrive soon enough.

There is a place in the world for 60 Minutes

Andy Rooney, and what else? I was moved by the heartfelt story of The Soloist. Beyond the story of Mr. Ayres and Mr. Lopez, 60 Minutes took a quarter hour to tell a story, beyond standard reports (all breadth, no depth). From exposition to conclusion, the relationship of the two men drew me in, an example of quality reporting. I eased into my couch and simply watched, laptop, magazines, books (2), and phones at bay. A small mention of the affiliated book and movie, the story centered on the journey of Mr. Ayers, and didn't sensationalize or predict an outcome. It painted in plain and clear detail, and was refreshing and though-provking, simply excellent.

Refusal and Redemption

Refusal: To follow the Wizzzzzards until they completely revamp the team. I watched in disgust Sunday as they eked out a win over Sacramento, an inch away from blowing an eight point lead with 1:20 to play. Lifeless, listless, hopeless. If you are going to play so poorly, bring in Sean Singletary, Roy Hibbert, and Jeff Green (maybe Mutumbo?) to please the locals. Or lure Rod Strikland out of retirement (hot dogs 1/2 off).

Redemption: Leitao out at UVA. I've never paid so scant attention to a UVA basketball season, which has tempered my excitement for the NCAAs. I blame him for the lost season. His recruiting is marginal, he cannot develop players, deploys an inconsistent rotation, and has no gameplan. Strike four. The names being floated as replacements I rank as follows:

1. Tubby
2. Miller (Xavier again?)
3. Capel (Blake Griffin makes anyone look good)
4. Mike Montgomery, Rick Barnes, Mark Few (all mentioned in prior UVA searches)
5. Terry Holland
56. Jeff Jones
9532. Pete Gillen

Since when?

Looking at the alternates for the Puerto Rican Open presented by Banco Popular, I'd be hard pressed to tell you if the tournament was occurring in 2009 or 1993.

Alternates
Freeman, Robin
Hulbert, Mike
Clearwater, Keith
Schulz, Ted
Peoples, David
Ogrin, David
Clark II, Michael
Henke, Nolan
Dodds, Trevor
Tryba, Ted

Please...

...tell me someone else is watching the Johnnie Walker. Danny Lee is the truth.

Daytona 2009

Pick for the day? Tony Stewart gets his.

Dark horse: Elliott Sadler

If I could choose the winner? Jeff Burton, from South Boston VA.

The Night Before Daytona

T’was the night before Daytona, and all in the condo;

Gents were passing out, save B, enjoying a hand-O.

The jean shorts were folded in duffels with care;

With the hopes a mulleted throng soon would appear.

K was nestled, all snug on a couch,

Dreaming of Natty Light, flowing down his mouth.

And G in a beater, and I with a snooze,

Barely awake, too much Tucher, o’ perfect booze.

Then at daybreak, the audible sputter,

A babbling brook? No, G’s busted muffler.

Up 95 N the Accord it did creep,

While I clutched a pillow, in an attempt to sleep.

The pace of our sojourn was nothing but slow;

Fingers crossed, at such speeds, the engine wouldn’t blow.

When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,

A glorious oval and buckets of beer!

Many ounces later, in efforts so slick,

We begged and bartered, to procure a tick’.

Once in the speedway of world-renown fame,

Jorts, moustaches, and tattoos of fierce flame.

Now Stewart, now Harvick, now Burton and Gordon,

On Johnson, on Sadler, you Chevy and Ford ones.

To the starting line, and avoid the wall,

After ‘Start your engines’ and the green flag does fall.

Down corners at speeds at which one must fly,

But not the clutch of my Schlitz can you pry.

Around the track, the engines they flew,

As the overweight broad, on the bleachers did spew.

The boozing, the cheering, never a bore,

Gordon in 5th gear, foot to the floor.

Many drinks on the brain, the thinking not sound,

Machines in motion, track-whipping around.

The throng to their feet, to lean and bend,

Signaling the race was drawing to end.

The finish line, checkers unfurled from a sack,

But no, a wreck totaled the pack!

Extended race, the crowd was merry!

More laps to spin, bank, and parry.

As before, Gordon left the flow,

Winner, gold medal, best in show.

Apt taker of spoils, a winner crown wreath,

Brought few smiles among grins missing teeth.

An amazing event, we returned to the ride.

To speed, a reverse trip’ed 95.

On splinter’d bleachers, where porking was stealth,

We’d learned a lesson of enormous wealth.

Four winks of the eye, and bumps of the fist,

Realizing the grandeur we’d many times missed.

A sport for hicks, we’d often smirked,

Was pure enjoyment, their holy work.

Back at the condo, a reddened nose,

From howling winds, a body part froze.

In the hot tub we sank, among quieted rubes,

Eyes reddened, grins bared, from pulling tubes.

We heard them exclaim, eyes gaping with wonder;

“WHOOOEEEE!, You look just like Dale Jr.!”

UVA Recruiting Nickels

- Overall, I am impressed by the UVA class. Morgan Moses, Oday Aboushi (and Kyle Long) on the OL is a tantalizing prospect.
- I like what Tim Smith brings to the table.
- I expect Dominique Wallace to end up being All-ACC...as a linebacker.
- Shocked we had no attrition beyond Tyree Watkins (and who cares about Duke...err, wait)
- Why do we sign our best classes after 5-7 seasons?
- Jameel Sewell will be on the UVA staff within 5 years.
- We need a QB in 2010, I'm not optimistic on Phil Sims, but I like selling the spread.
- Al Groh can develop talent, Dave Leitao should be his apprentice.
- Ole Miss signed 37 recruits?!?

SE DC

In the past I've written about the uninspiring architecture in SE DC. It is unfortunate when buildings are nicknamed 'The Tetris Building', 'The Block Building', 'The 'I can't believe people are still paying 380 for a one-bedroom' Building'.

What the area needs is an iconic building, which takes advantage of light, shape, color, and texture, as a neighborhood landmark. Instead, every building further commoditizes its neighbors in its uniformity and blatant attempt to squeeze every penny out of the space. Each new building gorges on real estate, supersized and maxed out, where neighbors in adjacent buildings could pass a cup of sugar across the space (not a good thing).

I keep my fingers crossed for a building which exercises humility and constraint, and shrinks from the sidewalks to grow irregularly, abnormally, and strikingly, in a show of architectural ingenuity.

Quick Dice for Friday

- Underrated song of the moment - Easily, RHCP (Califonication). One Hot Minute is also a vastly underrated album. Also, Porch Song by WP.

- Need new adverbs to go with 'underrated', vastly/highly are probably used 98% of the time.

- Talking garbage about VJ after a poor performance at the Mercedes is an acceptable (and highly probable) consolation prize. I'd don't think a lobotomy could make me like his game.

- When a golfer is said to 'manufacture good swings' it means he hides his swing flaws well, or has a terrible swing. Might as well say he makes a bad cut.

- Soon to finish reading Buried Lies by Peter Jacobson, I hope the book was poorly edited, or else he's a thinly veiled Curtis Strange.

Holidays and the Beach

During the holiday I had the opportunity to play a few rounds of golf in Myrtle Beach. I hold Myrtle, and its courses, in high regard, as I have been playing golf in the area for the better part of 20 years. With Golf Digest's Top 50 Myrtle Beach Courses in tow, I happily got in three rounds, in 80' weather, at the end of December.

Saturday - Ocean Ridge Plantation (Tiger's Eye) (3) - Tiger's Eye is part of the Ocean Ridge affiliation, now encompassing five courses. Tiger's Eye is a stern test of golf, with multiple risk/reward offerings on holes, and the ever impending threat of Carolina pines to snare a wayward parry. Ends on a difficult 5-par with water/waste right, and encroaching from behind the green. Greens were slow(ish) on account of thick/mature grass, allowed to grow to protect against the winter temperature shifts. Staff was courteous, laid-back, and friendly.

Sunday - Barefoot Resort (Love) (1) - Underwhelming, for a number of reasons. Much like an Atlantic City casino, I felt their entire intention was to take my money (ATM in clubhouse noted). The Barefoot ecosystem is quite interesting, and wholly caters to property owners, who gain memberships to all the courses. We played with Barefoot homeowners, who had their own (tricked-out) EZ Go, which was all too common, but, in my opinion, still unacceptable. Course situation catered to personal use of a golf cart, as the massive range, which serves all courses, is located .5 miles from the clubhouse, serving 3. At the clubhouse, there is no range or immediate putting green, simply a bottleneck from which tee times for all the courses are launched. Staff seemed more suited to be loading airplane luggage than performing golf-related tasks. Once our name was called, we were directed to the starter, and a small putting green with no actual holes, and given five minutes before the round.

The Love course was a combination of uninspiring holes, with a sprinkling of complete throwaway holes, especially the 3 pars (one of which was 145 from the tips). I equally blame DL III and whoever orchestrated the four course complex. When you build four courses, designed by four name designers, your end result is equal mediocrity, rather than catering to any of the competing interests. Space constrictions made many of the holes feel pinched, in some cases requiring a sparse ribbon of trees separating different courses. Additionally, the land on which the courses were built was flat/barren/sparse, so the only hazards entirely consist of water, which was the only option to be easily incorporated into the course design. The Love course lacks elevation change, and rarely required pre-shot contemplation, based on the potential for disaster. Many of the holes were straightforward, with simple green complexes and unimaginative bunkering. I couldn't imagine paying $90 to play the Love course, let alone the near $200 in-season rate.

Oh, and I didn't even mention the ubiquitous housing.

Monday - Myrtle Beach National (King's North) (20) - While the lowest ranked course on the list, easily my favorite, and the truest test of golf. Approaching the complex, the dated clubhouse (featuring a cafeteria line refreshment stand) was a minor deterrent to a championship course. We played the first five holes in a squalor, and loved every minute of it. Exacting shots required on risk/reward holes, interesting and imaginative green complexes require a variety of approach trajectories, and, lest I forget, 'The Gambler', the most welcomingly cheesy hole in golf. Course conditions were amazing (far better than Barefoot), and the greens rolled true, albeit a bit slow, in season, they could be the best in the Strand. It was a blast to play.

It was a highly enjoyable trip to Myrtle Beach, I can't wait to return.