Monday, June 13, 2005

Please Make it Stop

Having spent the weekend in the classless mecca Dewey Beach, I deliver an impassioned plea to those who lack class. Please remove the skin-stretched t-shirt with a slightly offensive double entendre and burn it, lest throwing it away leaves the possibility it still may be claimed.

These shirts are not funny, nor should a store like Urban Outfitters ever turn a profit. By wearing aforementioned garbage, you acknowledge while you lack the originality to concoct a contemporary quip, the value of displaying your belief in a dated saying is worth the $19.99 you worked for three hours to garner.

Normally I would be able to specifically list the order of the shirts I find most --> least offensive, but the entire lot is so heinous, I refuse to waste my time and mental capacity doling out any coherent thought towards the subject. Be it "Welcome to the Gun Show", "Idaho, No Udaho", or anything featuring a Gary Coleman's picture, it is wretched.

Miserable t-shirt wearers should have stuck with Trucker Caps, which were $7 cheaper. Unfortunately, I fully expect release in the fall of 2005 of a new, slightly tackier ensemble accessory, that will retail for $26. Being low class carries a high rate of inflation.

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